Mikael: "Hi. I am Mikael. I am an alcoholic."
Mikael: (About Orchid) "we recorded it in 12 days, now we spent ... *pause* ...years .... doing our shitty records... some of you won't like this song, but that's alright... *pause* ...but I will hate you"
Mikael: We don't take requests, only when we're a pop rock band we take requests and then we'll play ... Sweet Home Alabama
Mikael: No, that's not fucking Guns N' Roses, I wrote that riff back in 1986 and they stole it from me and used it in a slightly different way
[Introducing The Grand Conjuration] Mikael: “This is the first song we did a video for and lo and behold… It wasn’t very good.”
Mikael: "I have a toothache .. How fucking metal is that!?"
Mikael: "This next song we are gonna play (White Cluster), I hope you like it. If you don't like it, you're fucking retarded"
Mikael: "What? You want my guitar? .. ok here ya go..." *makes gesture to throw into crowd* .. "Haha. This is like my second wife, you don't wanna know what I do with this"
Mikael: *In a sad voice* "If you don't know this song (The Amen Corner), you are simply not a fan"
Mikael: "Why do you think we are here? We are here to have sex, and get drunk" (Crowd goes YEAAAAHHH!!! \m/)
Mikael: "Thanks to everyone here, and you lazy cunts sitting down. Oh did I just call you cunts? I meant just lazy. Ok everytime I say 'cunts' you do this (pulls middle finger gesture)... CUNTS ... .. .. cunts .. .. .. fucking cunts!"
Mikael: "When I was younger I used to do this (hunches over and pulls out dual devilhorns \m/ O \m/ ) and take pictures of myself. If you do it, don't show it to your friends or girlfriend. They'll think you're fucking weird"
Mikael: "We are the cock rock gods of metal"
"Here's a cock rocking song"
Mikael: "We are .. the Swedish whores .. from Sweden" (RaR '06)
Mikael: "People concentrate on my music, because my dick is small."
Mikael: "We're not playing Deliverance until you can name every member of the original line up of Europe."
Mikael: "I hope you like your seats, I rubbed my dick on all of them."
Mikael: "This song was originally recorded back in 1930 by a band called 'the cunts.' We're going to play it for you now, it's called....Deliverance!"
(When playing in front of a Canadian audience) Mikael: "This next song (Deliverance) goes out to Celine Dion!"
Mikael: "We are Opeth. We are from Stockholm. That's in Sweden. The Queen of Sweden is from Germany. She is a bit old, but she is still kinda hot. I like her. I've got something very important to say.. I love ... tits."(Someone from the crowd:) I LOVE YOU! - "Oh, that's a new feeling for you?"
Mikael: "This next song, is from an album, that was truly a breakthrough album for us. *pause* Yes, millions, and millions, of dollars. (Referring to Blackwater Park.) I'm fucked up... on alcohol. There were probably some other ones I don't remember."
Mikael: "...And over here is Martin Mendez, with Steve Harris playing behind the curtain."
Mikael: "Wow you guys are fucking retarted....I guess we're in good company."
Mikael: "So we are Opeth from Sweden. Sweden is a good country for hockey... what else is a good hockey country.. there's Finland...Russia......and that's about it. *Canadian crowd boos* *Mikael gives us the finger*
Mikael: "So we are practically a new band. But uh, I'm still here, and Martin is still here, and you may have met some of our new members. Meet Axe. And this is Fredrik, funny thing. We met Fredrik in the hobo district of Sweden. He was sitting on the side of the street...in sort of gay clothes, playing guitar and wearing a hat. It wasn't really a hat, is was a tiny little leather cap sitting right on the tip of his head." *Mikael plays a guitar exert from Hex Omega* (New song off the Watershed album) I like to call that song My Little Leather Hat."
Mikael: "Shut the fuck up....thank you."
*The Opeth concert music intro comes on (the music introducing Opeth in both the roundhouse tapes and damnation DvD's)* The music abruptly stops and a small spotlight illuminates Mikael's face smiling, waving, and innocently saying "helloooooooooo" *
Mikael: "So we as a band have produced many songs.. but we're never produced a song you can just sit back.. on the beach and squeeze tits... I think it's kind of a shame...
This song is about sitting on the beach, squeezing tits. It's called Heir Apparent"
Mikael: "If you come to Sweden and see a naked man with a cock like a toothpick, it's me..."
From the Symforce II festival: [introducing Martin Axenrot] "This is the drummer. He's a nice guy but he's always confused. Really, you talk to him for like five minutes and then you're like 'Wow, he's confused.' He's bright, though. This is Martin Axenrot! *walks away* Very very bright, but confused."
*Someone does a scream* Mikael: "That was a Gorefest scream. There's different ways to do the death metal singing, or screaming you know.... and that was definitely a Gorefest scream. I like Gorefest."
Mikael: "Hi. I'm Mikael. We're Opeth and we are from Sweden. Actually we are from Stockholm, which is the capital of Sweden. You wanna know what we do in Sweden? We drink and fuck."
Mikael: "Ok... we're gonna do a song from Still Life. I don't like this song. Ok so maybe it's not the worst song, but I don't really like it."
[they play Serenity Painted Death]
"I like this song. I guess we wouldn't play this song if we didn't like it."
At Wacken Open Air this year- It was raining, they just finished the song.. silence.. rain.. Mikael: "I bet there are a lot of wet girls out there."
Crowd is celebrating Or from the Roundhouse Tapes DVD: "Do you know that? This is the sound of a lower tuned guitar."
Some guy shouts: "How do you pronounce your surname?" Mikael: "How do I pronounce my surname? ... God. ... Correction! Metal God."
Before playing 'Hope Leaves', Mikael: "I'm gonna give this song 300% feeling. Like Bon Jovi."
When introducing members: "We shaved all our pubic hair off and stuck it to his face, Mr. Per Wiberg!"
After someone crowed surfed up to the front while he was talking: "did you just crowd surf while no song was playing? That's new."
It was on a festival in Holland, called Lowlands. Mikael: (Every stage is covered by a huge tent. Opeth played underneath one, while it was raining. Really, really hard.) "Okay, okay, who of you are actually here to see us guys?"
*a small group of true Opeth fans are rising their hands*
"Okay, good, good. And who of you are here, just to shelter the rain?" *All the other people are rising their hands*
*Mikael makes a fuck-you gesture*
"Fuck you guys."
Mikael: "So do you guys like Thin Lizzy?" *moderate reaction* "We won't play another song unless you all love Thin Lizzy."
Mikael at Lowlands '09: "This song is about making love in a cottage on a beach.." *they start playing Deliverance*
For "The Lotus Eater": "The next song may be noise to some, to others it may be oral sex. "
After Harlequin Forest: "Rock'n roll all night and party every fucking day, right?"
While introducing Martin Mendez: "He sees his guitar as an extension of his dick, he likes to play with it a lot."
"This one is about... *looks on arms and makes slightly squeezing movements* ...a woman's ass. And her tits, too. Heir Apparent."
From the Bloodbath show at Hellfest 2010. Mikael: "To make sure we are playing for a proper Death Metal crowd, we'll do a little test. I am gonna say a lyric from a Death Metal song and if you don't know which one it is, we won't play any more songs....'Ghouls attack the church'..." Crowd: Morbid Angel! Mikael:"Okay, that was too easy, let's do another one 'Ghouls attack the church'"
Mikael: "This song has some lyrics that are... absolute black metal nonsense."
*After two songs*: "When you go to see a big band, like Bon Jovi, and they say "Can you feel it". What is "it"? Is "it" magic?, because if it is, *can you feel it?*"...
Mikael: "We are Opeth from Sweden. I remember the last time we played here. There were forty people there. And there was this really drunk guy yelling loudly in the front row. *guy in the front yells "THAT WAS ME!"* "That was you? You were really drunk then. You were like UGHGHGHGHGHGH. Anyway, we opened for Nevermore, and Jeff Loomis fell asleep on stage during our set. This is a song we played." *plays song*
Mikael: "Alright, here's what we're going to do. Usually, we play this last song, then go backstage and hang out and come back for the encore. But there's not backstage here. So we'll play this, then hang around for what we feel is an appropriate amount of time, then play the encore. Here we go."
*plays Demon of the Fall. Everyone is freaking out, and the band members are hanging around onstage looking at each other. After a couple of minutes Mike looks at his watch*
"Ok, that was enough. Here we go." *plays encore*
Mikael: "HUSH.... Fucking kids."
*after playing George Michael's Faith...*
"You guys are fucking gay. You know the entire song and I only know a few rifts..."
Mikael: "Time for ... porn music. For the record, this is the blowjob or the anal scene."
Mikael: "It's hot as shit in Sweden, but in the summer, there will be breasts."
Mikael: "Find some real pants, you whore."
From the Heritage Hunter stop in San Antonio - 4/20: "So...did you guys like Ghost?"
"I'm their singer."
"...Did you guys like Mastodon?"
*audience cheers again*
"I wrote all their songs."
From the Making of Heritage DVD: "I'm a musical genius. I can basically come up with a masterpiece on clapping my hands, y'know?" .
(I found these quotes on one page, and I wanted to turn it into one public post, I couldn't share it more easily otherwise. All credits go to people who were sober enough to remember shit he said, and more importantly, to the man himself. If you have more quotes, send me a message, I'll compile them into another post. Let's face it - we can never have enough of this. All hail Mikael! All hail Opeth!)